Afraid to love. More afraid to lose.

I searched for the lyrics after you mentioned this song. :)

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

-Sarah Mclachlan-

today

Today,
Work is slow... Everyone's still on hols. Especially in Europe and the States.

Today,
He's pissing me off again!! Why do people like these even work?? Might as well stay home and leech of someone else!

He's making me smile again, as usual. Gives me goosebumps, or the warm fuzzy feeling as well sometimes.

He actually came to our Christmas play! But I overlooked it and didn't think he'd come. I'm touched that he made an effort. But I wanna KICK myself for NOT making the effort.

He's so funny and lovable. Wish he were still working here in Cyber.

I'm trying to think of more "he"'s or even "she"s but I can't. Yes, I'm that free and bored. Should've just taken leave today...ish!

: : Mind Storms : :

God... I've gotten it wrong SO many times!! How do I know when it's right?!?!
Lord I don't wanna make anymore mistakes. I don't want anyone hurt again.
How do you know, God?? How do you know? How do you know?

2 outcomes
-> 1) crash & burn
-> 2) seek

I've drilled it into my head for years:-
"No. Don't. It's wrong. Stay away. Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative."
Will I be blinded even when it's Positive?

Peace. That is what I will need. It's what I want to feel when the time is right.

Beautiful. But for how long? Forever?

A blessing. For always, I pray.

Joy. Overflowing. Everlasting.


To honour You. To worship You. To make You smile. To draw us closer to You. To be a light in this dark world. That's the way it should be.

-This I place in Your hands-

The Journey

Sometimes we think or worry about the end of the road too much. That we forget to enjoy the lil things along that road. The beautiful wild flowers. The trees blowing in the breeze. Birds chirping. Butterflies and dragonflies fluttering in the fresh air. Little animals scampering on the green grass. White puffy clouds sailing in an ocean of blue. The sunset. The sunrise. The moonlit and star-filled sky.

Sometimes we just need to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. In the end, even if the end of the road isn't quite what you expected. Or NOT what you expected at all, it would've been worth it anyway, because the journey itself brought you joy, helped you grow, taught you, added value to your life.

Dum dee dee dum....*whistles down the road with a smile on my face*
Actually, I can't whistle. LOL...

"Papa, with you holding my hand, this life is gonna be GOOD... Even though the storms will come my way, I have nothing to fear."

"And you, you, you, you...you, you... you and you, you.. yes you too...you, you, you, and you, and you.. oh! and you.. you and you and you...AND YOU! Thank you... for being the beautiful things in this journey of mine. I could not ask for more. I love you all."

shaky ground / shifting sands..whatever you wanna call it

After all you've gone through, the one thing you thought was stable.
The one thing you thought was the basis of everything.
Where you thought won't go wrong.
Suddenly that too decides to crumble beneath your feet.

What's this all about then?
Where can we confidently call "safe"?
What can we hold on to knowing that it'll never give way?

The answer is simple - God.
He's the only one who remains.
He's the only one who never changes.
He's the only one who will NEVER let us down. NEVER disappoint us.

I guess this is where we learn to fully depend on the only Constant in this life.
To not look at man.
Even leaders fail us.
This is where we learn to mature.
Because we now start to ultimately find council in Him, who's all knowing. Who's in control.

"Abba Father...i put my trust in You and You alone. You hold my world. You hold everyone else that I care about too. And I know you have good things in store for all of them."