CGVCG!!!

almost forgot bout CGVCG!!! man!! the organizers deserve a dinner or something!! MICH. JOSH, NICKY, ALVIN, JOHNNY...im sure they worked really hard to get it together. n they did a REALLY good job!! everyone had fun. all the sweat, the energy, the time...was worth it.from mmu campus to cyberview lodge, to paya indah wetlands, to precint 9 putrajaya, to taman botani, to alamanda, to cyberpark... each team was constantly driving or running around. clues were being solved. things n places were being found. questions were being answered. at the same time, we really enjoyed the company... some teams were helping each other out, even though we are from different CG's. it was nice to see the unity between CF members as a whole. it was also interesting to see different teams choosing different paths coz there were various ways to complete the race. all in all, it was a fun day. got to see more of cyberjaya n putrajaya then i've ever done since i started studying here. hehe...n i had a great team with me - Lydia, Datin Steph, Desmond & Peter!! wooo hooo!! multi-faculty!! i think we really complimented each other. honestly speaking, i wasn't semangat at all before the race began. but as we went on, everyone was determined to win. n thank GOD, we got 2nd place!!! yeay!! :D i think God was teaching me a lesson as well. n giving me back my semangatness. :) thank u Lord!!!

^VaLeNTiNe^

i have a new family member!! yeay!! :D her name is Valentine. she's black...n cute...n has a wet lil nose... n droopy ears...n a LONG tail... grin*
this is how she came to our home...
car stops outside the house. ben comes down...starts calling at the gate "PET!!!" my sis gets up groggily from her sleep...goes to front door...ben comes in carrying a big box....he holds it out to pet n says "this is for u...early birthday present." he opens the box.. n out pops a lil black head!! eeEEeEeee....leona, esther n i start squealing..the lil darling had a bright green ribbon tied to her waist too (my sis' favourite colour).i asked pet, "what u gonna name her??!!" all she said was, "sleepy la..wanna go back to sleep.. heh..," *sheepish smile* n goes back to bed.
SIGH* what la that gurl!!! so leona & i ended up playing with her till my parents got home. n we had to leave back to cyber. sniff* so sad.. i miss her already....btw, she's a lil black labrador pup. apparently mixed with alsation. but doesnt look it at all. wwhhhheeee!!! cant wait to go home!!!

"Thank You God for the new member in our family..."

*FLasHbAcKs*

flashbacks...
heart skipping a beat...
hoping...
getting closer...
falling...
head over heels...
excited...
loving...
caring...
bliss...
contented...
happy...

but they're all just memories, hitting me unexpectedly like a blow to the head. at the moment, they still hurt. but someday, i'm sure they'll be sweet...someday....

-BE FAITHFUL-

last nite, i was suddenly struck by discouragement n a weird feeling of dullness...don't wanna mention the cause of it. but i just felt so low...so "tak bersemangat". was questioning myself why?? was asking God why?? even asked a few friends why?? in fact, i felt guilty bout feeling this way. i shouldn't be feeling this way...ARGH!! think i need a TIGHT SLAP in the face!! well...was talking to weeliem bout how i was feeling...n he greatly encouraged me with these 2 words - "BE FAITHFUL". yea...i guess that's all God wants us to do. be faithful. he's not gonna ask us how many souls we saved. he's not gonna ask us how many churches we built. he's not gonna ask us how much did we multiply our CG. He's not even gonna ask us how "holy" we were here on earth. but He WILL ask us how we used our gifts n talents...how we continued to run the race even when it was so hard...how we still served him n pressed on when things got rough. i wanna continue running the race. i wanna keep using n expanding my talents. i wanna serve Him all my life even in the little things; n even when it seems to be pointless. "God, give me the strength to keep going."

. :IRONY: .

isn't it funny that some people can ask for favours...but not return them?
isn't it funny that some guys are playing the girl's role?
isn't it funny how when u lack prayer, things start going wrong?
isn't it funny how people u were so close with can become strangers?
isn't funny how this world is so ironic?
yea...i know all these questions have nothing in common whatsoever...they're just certain things that crossed my mind lately.

speaking about irony...let me name some ironic things that happened to me. BESIDES the usual "spoon landing in the middle of the sink causing water to splash all over ourselves" or "we're ALWAYS on the slowest lane in the traffic jam", these are the few ironic things that i've experienced n noticed lately:

-everytime esther n i happen to talk about or mention someone, that person seems to weirdly appear around us...like walking past us...or is somewhere in sight...or appears online... FREAKY!!

-my car works fine EVERTIME the mechanic or someone ELSE checks it. but misbehaves when I'M driving it.

-our lecturer announced that lab was gonna start 2 saturdays back. so we were asked to check our schedules. n we were NOT allowed to change our date of experiment. he wasn't gonna except any excuses. i was PRAYING that i WONT be the 1st group that saturday coz i really couldn't make it. was working that day.esther was thinking to herself "NAH...cant be THAT ironic!" well, guess WHAT! my lab was schedule to be on THAT saturday! GEE THANKS!!

-the sun seems to shine REALLY brightly evertime we need to walk. it happily hides behind clouds when we dont need it to...when we're still in the shade. ONCE we step out into the open air, it starts roasting us.

these things ever happen to u before? or am i the only one???? *puzzled look on face*

pretty interesting weekend

left cyber friday afternoon to have a look at the doggy i'm hoping to adopt. but daddy ain't too keen...sigh*
met shern's look-alike! cool!! hahaha...
car was still giving problems...it's being such a b**** (mind my language). but seriously....it jerks like mad and 'sei fuo" when i'm driving around...those who have experienced the "excitement" with me would know what i'm talking about. unfortunately, my car is ALIVE!! n it's smart! it act's PERFECTLY fine whenever SOMEONE, ANYONE, is testing it to find the problem. even the whole of this morning , it didn't act up at all. i guess it knew i was taking it to the workshop. then...when it finally realized that i was sending it to the mechanic no matter what, i had to start pissing me off..especially at traffic lights. and AS EXPECTED, it was a very good girl with the mechanic. and as usual (after 4 times at a diff mech) i drove her home HOPING she'd work. n guess what, it started jerking, n even died in the middle of the road at the traffic lights when i was picking becky up from center point. SIGH* why am not surprised? need to really pray n rebuke the lil demons who are messing up my engine!! shrug* who knows rite?
was really asking God, WHY is this happening? to test my patience?? the devil trying to piss me off? hmmm... questions questions questions!!

anyways...back to my weekend. worked on Sat. was so boring this week!!! no one to give the leaflets to. taipan was so dead. thank God i was working with JO!! we had so much to catch up on. so work that day was practically walking around...chatting....eating...chatting...giving leaflets....chatting...eating...chatting..... yea! u get the picture. lol...
after that, we went to KL to yum cha with our "supervisor" n the supervisor from the other venue. was fun!! grin*

next was movie with baby tze n ah yoong. :) been sometime since i hung out with them. was really nice. n the NEW POLICE STORY is a MUST watch!!! the good guys are cool... the BAD guys are cool!! u kindda tend to like everyone in the movie! hehe...n DANIEL WOO IS A HUNK!!!! *drool* not to mention, 2 of the bad guys reminded me of guys i know. damn funny. but they're damn "yau yeng" lor.

after the movie, met up with 3 dear friends whom i haven't seen for REALLY long!! didn't realize how much i missed them till i saw them. the whole night, jo, steve, sun, joan n i were laughing our guts out and going hysterical. or maybe it was just us 3 gurls la. :P was marvelous chillin with them. hope to see them more often - "the karaoke gang"!!

sunday....church..in the NEW PLACE!!! awesome!!! then had to rush of to meet a special friend who was gonna bring my car to his mechanic. he's specialized with my type of engine. BUT...oh well....u know the rest of the story...
BAH!! stupid car!

once again..cannot drive back to cyber... :( after fetching becky n shernie to my house and watching smallville n m'sian idol, engie had to fetch us all back. good thing was, we got to see his place in CYBER HEIGHTS!!! oh my gosh!! it's SOOOOO DDAAARRNNN BBEEAAUUTTIIIFFOOOLLL!!! becky wants to move in tomorrow!! lol....

yawn* time to sleep... good night world...*snore*... oh wait! i DONT snore.. :P *silence*

healthy??

whoa!! im suddenly feeling healthy!! haha... not when it comes to food though.. let's see...captain ball last nite was AWESOME!!! the response was so good, i think all of us were surprised! n THANK GOD it didnt rain!! well... i think i haven't sweated that much for ages!!! n my face was so flushed!! like a tomato!! muahaha.. i thought the games were really good coz EVERYONE was bonding so well!! there was no fighting! no spitefullness! everyone just played "lovingly" if i could put it that way. there was really good sportmanship among every single person there. & to end it with a dinner together with more fellowship...the whole nite was...just..AWESOME... :P
thanks mich n dez for organizing it!! really should have it more often.

this morning...morning glory...then breakfast...then SWIMMING with weeliem & mich... it was nice! the sun was coming up...slowly making the pool like glistening crystal... simply BEAUTIFUL!!
after class...esther n i went to the GYM!! woo hoo!! for 10 mins! LOL... just wanted to use their dumbells ler..
but yea...feeling healthy...been exercising more i think.. grin*
BUT ...the only lack is GOOD food here...or finance for good food... oh well... be thankful with whatever we have.. :)

Phil 4:8
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

~~~~~~~~~

to the person i used to make happy...but have now brought tears...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
why do you cause me so much guilt?
why do you make me feel so bad?
was all that we ever built
made of sadness and pain and regret?

didnt i give you my all?
maybe my all was too much to give
coz it took you away from me
and now i dont know how to live

if only i could erase the hurt
if only i could give you everything you want
if only i could take away the pain
but i very well know that i can't
there's only one person who can
He's our very own Daddy in heaven
just give Him your hand
and He'll lead you places you wont even imagine

so forgive me when i say, goodbye
i believe i've caused enough pain
it's time for you to fully rely
on our God Almighty, Comforter & Friend.

i will always love you
you will always be dear to me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

don't we all wish we could turn back time? change things we did? change the way things turned out? i guess everything happens for a reason. it's comforting to know God's in control. but sometimes it's so hard to trust Him.
"Lord..take my away my unbelief."

I miSS...

people i miss:

-zach baby
-zher dearest
-wai foong
-michelle see
-kristy
-micah

*sigh* wish there was teleportation service.

. :GLOW: .

I wrote this specially for Leona darling...
hope u like it dear...really wanna see u smiling again....laughing again.. HUGZ*

Glow
I see you there
you're smiling
but something's wrong
there's no glow
there's no joy

My beloved friend
don't you know that
without your laughter
my world's a lil dimmer
my world's a lil darker
my world's a lil quieter

I know things ain't going your way
disappointments cloud your path
but God is always there
His light shines brighter than the sun
so let His love & joy shine through
coz

My beloved friend
don't you know that
without your laughter
my world's a lil dimmer
my world's a lil darker
my world's a lil quieter

1st day at work

well, 1st day of THIS particular job that is... wei mee, lily & i were looking forward to it coz we were hoping to work together. there were 4 of us who clicked well, but only 3 of us were put together. oh well...no complains..
so...FIRST day of the job...CHAOS!! our shorts arrived late. the blades arrived late. our blades were falling apart even before we started blading!! what lousy old stock they must've given us!! in the end, our boss just bought duct tape to tape it up n secure our ankle area. how sad huh! at least the blades were black....so... not TOO obvious.
finally ready! with our standard chartered T-shirts, white shorts, elbow n knee pads....OFF WE GOOOO!!!.......oh no..uneven ground...try to turn to a stop...wHoA WhOa wHoA!!! *SPLAT* ouch! my poor bum! LOL... thank God that was the only time i fell - beFORE we started giving out the leaflets. one poor girl fell twice in front of people. wince*
at the end of the 3 hours...SWEATING like a pig....feet & ankles hurting like mad! boy were we grateful to take the blades off!!

speaking about the job, i suddenly realized that my prayers have been answered. i remember when they announced about the final year students mission trip in CF; my heart skipped a beat when i heard the word "Thailand". i knew i had to go. when i first decided to be part of the mission team to Thailand & Cambodia even though i'm not a final student, i was doubtful about how i was gonna get RM1000 in time. when i asked mummy about it, all she said was "If u choose to go on this mission, & u feel God is calling u to, He will provide...just pray." & so i did. but i was still doubtful. 1000 bucks is alot! for me that is.
but by the end of this holiday, plus another 2 saturdays of work, i would've raised more than half the cash i need for this trip. i know it's all God's doing...the jobs that came along..the timing of the jobs..it is all His perfect timing. "THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!!!"

night : watched a movie with a childhood friend. was cool. amazing how time flies...we were remembering the times we used to play catching n hide & seek. lol...it was all so long ago..
talked on the phone with someone dear to me...with NO fighting at last. left me with many questions...many memories...painful thoughts...*SIGH*

-LiFe GoEs On-

complications

why does something so simple become so complicated?
why does a day of fun turn into a night of thoughts & worries?
why does closeness bring guilt?
why do friendships have to be questioned?
why does talking only lead to fights?
why must people be affected by my actions?
why do i even exist?
why why why??

the CORRECT answer - God created me for a purpose...that i'm yet to find out...n i shouldn't focus on these lil problems in life... but i'm human...n it's difficult. i just feel sorry for those around me who are hurting as well...wish i could take it all away...

"to those whom i have hurt...i never meant to...i'm sorry i added to the scars...i'm sorry i existed in your life. if i had 1 wish...i would wish we'd have never met, if it reduces the pain u face."

CoNtEnTeD

i somehow feel...contented...maybe coz yesterday & today were very eventful & NOT spent on bumming around.

THURS: went to visit a Mal's mom & bro...it's been more than half a year since i saw them..so thought it was bout time i paid them a visit. took the lrt to Dang Wangi...walked down memory lane to the condo. MAN...it's so long ago...but many events are still clear in my mind. i was thinking to myself "do i regret choosing this path?"...not really...i guess i wouldn't be who i am now if not for the joys & tears i had to endure during my younger years.
so anyway...took the lift up to the 34th floor. oops! i keep forgetting the floor they live on. was greeted at the door by BOTH parents...all so warm n smiley. it was REALLY good to see them. felt like the good ol' days. well..as usual they tried to stuff me with food... i updated them bout my life... mal's mom was VERY happy to hear that i'm single.. LOL...she's so cute. still wants me to be her daughter in law...grin* she even did my nails after that. some nail art thingy. damn cool. she gave me some to do on my own.
rewinding a lil...beFORE the nail part...TUNG HONG comes back from school!! boy hasn't he grown!! he was much smaller than me when i gave him tuition. but now he's bout the same height. AND becoming very good-looking. can tell he's a gurl magnet just like his brother!! :P
& sooo...aunty, tung hong n i went for lunch..n shopping...n dinner (with uncle)...basically i spent the WHOLE day with them. it was super fun!
but WAIT! the fun has not ended...night as come.. it's GURL'S NITE OUT!! woo hooo!! rushed back from kl...took a quick shower...waited for baby (pei tze) to reach my house n then OFF to bangsar!! i thought it was gonna be 5 gurls (all from prime coll), but there were 2 other gurls. & man did we click fast! ALL of us clicked so well that we're now planning a holiday (STRICTLY GURLS) at the end of the year. hope it isn't all talk n no action.
hmmm..havent hung out with so many girls for a long time...as my friends would know, majority of my friends are guys. n it gets boring sometimes.. "NO OFFENCE guys!! i still love u all..." :P it's just that i think gurls need to hang out with their species once in awhile. it's really refreshing. u gurls out there should know what i mean. i havent laughed so much in a long time.
Sunny, Pei Tze, Nellie, Jocelyn, Mei (May) & Voon...U CHICKS ROCK!!! :D

FRI: took lrt (AGAIN) & monorail to KL, looking or Menara Shazan. damn sesat man...had to ask directions a couple of times. apparently it's called Menara Prime or something now. well, i had to be there to meet with the "employer" whom i'm gonna work for the following saturdays. it was funny how we girls slowly bunched together. it was because it was SO obvious that we're out of place; the odd ones out. EVERYONE there are dressed formally for work..n there's us girls wearing jeans, denim skirts, tank tops, sleeveless tops. the more girls arrived..the noisier we got. LOL...it's cool how fast we made friends and started chatting like old time buddies.
when our boss arrived, we proceeded to be briefed by the client. i'm actually looking forward to this "roller-blading" job. something new. plus it's just distributing fliers. no sales required. yeay!

friday nite...met up with my old church friends. catching up on the months we havent met up. bumped into a few more friends at william's (best cheese naan).. one whom i haven't seen for years. was good getting in touch with her again.

all in all it's been a great week. hols are ending..but im looking forward to seeing all my beloved friends in cyber. miss them all greatly.... 2nd SEM!! HERE I COME!!

*croaking* (losing voice) :(

:.gRateFuLLnEss.:

results were out yesterday. it was a time of suspense. my results would determine the rest of my holidays; back to cyber to study, OR bumming around somemore...
all this time i was just praying that i won't fail more than 1. i was so sure i didnt pass at least 1. i felt i did really badly. especially power systems. MAN!! i was just stoning in the exam room. couldnt think. couldnt concentrate. my mind was somewhere else. was emotionally unstable. i thought that was it. no chance to pass that paper.... usually i'm pretty sure of passing my papers. but this sem, i was pretty sure i would fail.
opening student info centre...achievements... praying praying praying...hoping hoping hoping...
pass...pass...pass...pass...pass...pass... OH MY GOSH!! I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES!!! i passed all 5 subjects!!!! still staring at my results....the only words that cross my mind are "LORD!!!thank You SOOO MUCH!!!"
just when i thought there was no hope. just when i thought God couldn't help me...He did. it's always easy to say "Trust in Him", but when it comes to exams, it's a different story.
i know my cgpa has dropped. but passing when i thought i would fail is good enough. & i want ALL the glory to be given to Jesus...i couldn't be more thankful than this.

I'm forever grateful

to You

I'm forever grateful

for the Cross

I'm forever grateful

to You

That You came

to seek and save the lost.

OUCH!!

all i can say is PPAAAIINNNN!!!! my throat hurts...hope i dont come down with the flu or something...n my ear piercing hurts!! think it's infected. sigh* it's red n swollen n hot. :( sucks!!
*frown*

WHAT'S WRONG?!?!

what's wrong with me?!?! i seem to have a talent in getting ppl upset or pissed off. sigh*
maybe only one person who knows what i'm talking about would be reading this. & i'm sorry again... guess i'm just a nuisance on this earth.

3 dates

yesterday...

1. had a wonderful "date" with a close friend. guess we haven't been spending much time together due to all the happenings in our individual lives. but yesterday was a time to catch up and just find out how each other was doing..."thanks wee wee for a great day!!" :) hugz* (hope i don't get whacked by all his fans)

2. 9pm...met up with 3 gurlfriends in bangsar...was really great seeing sunny, nellie n jocelyn. we used to hang out when we were in prime. but went our separate ways after that. we really went thru alot together during those "prime days". lol... good AND bad. well, we had alot of good laughs...n aLOT of picture taking... grin* GURLS!!! too bad 2 of them had to leave early. nvm...we're having another gurly day out next week... WOO HOO!! cant wait!!!
(just hope exam results wont ruin everything...*fingers crossed*)

3. well, met up with kor kor after that. supper...part of a movie with his cute lil brother...then yum cha again with his friend...THEN home to bed. :P

MAN!!! the days have been just flying by!! hols are almost over.... NNNOOOooOOoOooOoOoo....

-LaSt NiGhT-

dinner + foosball + yum cha + latte @ 8....free coffee...jason lo, adam & marriane (how to spell ar?) live + ona's craziness + good company + pool = a pleasant night of fun & laughter
*GRIN*

hurts

It only hurts when u cry
I'm only sad when there's tears in your eyes
I can't lie and say that I'm fine
It only hurts when u cry

hApPy HoLiDaYz??

hmmmm..it's been a long time since i've been here. guess i got lazy after it died. tried updating it earlier today but something's wrong with blogger la. cant republish anything.
n now i gotta type everything again. SIGH*
well, exams was sucky. wasnt in a good emotional condition at that time, so i guess it affected my studies abit. really hoping and praying that i won't fail more than 1 paper. :(
after exams, went to CF camp in PD. was SOOOO looking forward to the SUN, SEA, SAND and...not gurls lar... BUT, boy were we disappointed!! kena con man!!! it was hardly a beach!! maybe 2-3 feet of sand only.. lol...oh well, it was a fun camp even thought we didnt get our sun, sea and sand. got to know a few ppl better... AND do some catching up with ppl whom i couldnt see during exam period.
i personally thought it was a good camp coz we were made to ponder upon things we usually DONT think about. its pretty scary though, thinking bout how much we really love Jesus. we easily say we do, but how far are we really willing to go for Him? i hope that one day i can TRULY mean what i sing; "i would go to the ends of the earth for You", "i would run for a thousand years...swim to the ocean floor..", "Lord, i give You my heart, i give You my soul, i live for You alone.."
there was ONE bad thing about camp. i had a few things on my mind that were bothering me. couldnt sleep the first nite, which is weird for me. i usually fall asleep within a minute of my head touching the pillow. :P thank God i got to clear things up after camp. spent time chatting with someone and cleared all misunderstandings and assumptions. glad to be friends again...great to have u back!! u know who u are... grin*
after camp it was WORK WORK WORK!!made new friends... most of the gurls i worked with were nice and pleasant to work with. was pretty fun la overall...DESPITE the screw up on the last day. but yea, i dont wanna go there. oh ya!! played with many ADORABLE kids too!! :D
went to MALAYSIAN IDOL on friday. was pretty fun.. :P mich, david, sarah and i got to sit at Vick's family & friends' seats!! grin*
after the 4 days of work...it's been lepak lepak lepak....chill chill chill...bumming bumming bumming...feels great having nothing to do!! after the stressful sem, i really needed this.
btw, EHTER DAHLING....i miiissss uuuuuuu......